The Heart of Mercy

 "When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them,

'Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'

When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders... 

Jesus said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' 

She said, 'No one sir.' And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you. 

Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.'"

- John 8: 7-11

        Today, August 26, 2020, there will be another execution carried out by the federal government.  I don't like to be political in my blog, because it's not the heart of what these postings are about.  The heart of this political posting, however, has to do with the Heart of Jesus.

In the passage from the Gospel of John that is included above, Jesus so clearly demonstrates his earlier statements that He came not to condemn the world but to save it.  And each one of us is the world for which He came to save. (John 3:17)  

When I was a child and heard this story of the adulterous woman read in church on Sunday morning, I thought, "It's so mean to throw rocks at someone!" - as I pictured the small stones that mischievous children would throw for entertainment or sometimes for destructive reasons.  How naive I was, in my childhood innocence!  These rocks were, in fact, huge stones that would be thrown by a group of people at the accused person until that person slowly died of blunt force trauma.  A barbaric and gruesome act of capital punishment - and behavior that obviously was displeasing to our Lord Jesus.  

A year ago this month, I said yes to a nudging by the Holy Spirit to become a pen pal to a man on death row in NC.  My life has not been the same since then.  My earlier conviction that the death penalty is inherently wrong (and another evil we seem to celebrate in this country) became not just political - it became personal!  My pen pal has slowly become my friend, and I could no longer just sit back and oppose the death penalty in theory, I had to take action.  My friendship with this young man has been a two-way blessing.  He assures me of how much he values my letters that share day-to-day activities, while we both write stories from our lives, and about books we have read and enjoyed.  We write about our favorite basketball teams, local and national news, and TV shows.  He calls me and we enjoy 15 minutes of chatting and laughing, listening and consoling. And I have come to learn about the very young person who was condemned to die and the man he is today who shows compassion and remorse, thoughtfulness and friendship.  He is so much more than the worst things that he has ever done.  We are first and foremost children of God - broken and wounded by life.  We are all worthy of God's redemption.

If we think that today's execution of a man has no affect on you or on this country, I challenge you to educate yourself, before moving on to something less troubling to read today. There are numerous books where one can learn about the toll that this cold-blooded act has on the defense attorneys, the correctional officers, the "death teams," and the prison wardens and administrative staff.  The families and friends of those being killed by the state are deeply impacted; when their loved one was sentenced to death row, so were they.  And what may be the most surprising - not all victims' families want to see the offender killed.  Thinking that's true is a myth that some people want us to believe.  Organizations and non-profits have been formed by multiple victims' families to help in abolishing the death penalty!

I hope you will choose to learn more about this emotional and controversial political, social, and spiritual problem. Here's a short list of books, from so many written, that I can attest to for educating yourself on this issue:

Lethal State: A History of the Death Penalty in North Carolina

The Death of Innocents: The Eyewitness Account of Wrongful Executions

Executing Grace: How the Death Penalty Killed Jesus and Why It’s Killing Us

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption

Dead Man Walking

The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row

Death Row: The Final Minutes

Where Justice and Mercy Meet

Crimson Letters: Voices from Death Row

Here also are websites where you can literally spend hours reading and learning - and, hopefully, taking action:

www.deathpenaltyinfo.org

www.ncadp.org

www.deathpenaltyaction.org

www.witnesstoinnocence.org

www.eji.org

www.catholicsmobilizing.org

www.aclu.org

I ask you to spend some time today in prayer for the victims, the family and friends of the victims, and those of the condemned. Pray too for the federal officers, the warden, the condemned's fellow death row inmates, and for Lezmond Mitchell himself, as he is put to death...  And then ask yourself if you feel safer because this man died today.  

💙

Breathing into our True Hearts

       It has been a number of weeks since I have written, and I found myself waiting for Pentecost to begin posting again.  And then before Pentecost Sunday arrived the heart of our nation was ripped open and all the grief, anger, frustration, and pain came pouring out for the life of George Floyd so senselessly, and yet, purposely taken.

The words, “I can’t breathe,” said (yet again) in a pleading murmur tears at my heart so badly that I can barely think about them.  How much of one’s humanity, moral compass, and sense of decency have to have been shut off, before a person can ignore such a plea? 

God breathed life into the first human being and loved him so much that God provided him a mate and then gave to them both all this glorious natural creation for them (and for us) to enjoy.  Scripture says it wasn’t until God breathed into the nostrils of the first human that he “became a living being.”  And, as you know, the story goes downhill from there.  Christianity teaches of the original sin of the first man and woman, when they disobeyed God’s request.  And humanity continues to disobey God’s natural law of love and gratitude.

In the same way that our Creator breathed life into us, Christ breathed the Holy Spirit into the disciples, according to John 20: 19-23.   After His resurrection, he appeared before them, wishing them His Peace. Then He “breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”  I find it sorrowfully ironic that breath is so important to each of the Three Persons of the Trinity, and yet humanity has made so light of it, taken it away as easily as appearing to comfortably kneel upon a helpless man’s windpipe with one’s hands in one’s pockets.

How long before this nation wakes up to its own “original sin” of creating a system of white supremacy and giving birth to all the ugliest parts of racism?  How can any nation truly be peaceful when it has been founded by the conquering and attempted annihilation of native people?  How can there be justice when the land of a nation was stolen right out from under the indigenous people who lived here for more than 10,000 years before they arrived?  How can a nation be considered great and powerful when most of its very foundation was built by human souls that were kidnapped and forced to be enslaved for centuries?  How can there be equality, when these same people remain enslaved by a system that is weighted in such a way that only those who have the most power keep the most power? 

When can the breath of living Black men and women, before and after the murder of George Floyd, be inhaled freely – without the raggedness of fear and without the shallowness of dread?  Has our nation at last reached its tipping point?  Can injustice finally topple and break open so that everyone can clearly see that reform needs to start at the top and not stop until it puddles around the realities of slavery, lynching, Jim Crow, stop-and-frisk, three-strikes laws, disproportionate incarceration of people of color, and police brutality?  When will these things become ugly memories?

During this time of the COVID-19 pandemic, I was looking forward to the joy of Pentecost.  It’s a time in the church year that I especially enjoy.  This year, 2020, has been all about breathing – the struggle for breath that those sick with coronavirus experience.  The need for some to be on ventilators so that their bodies can still take in much needed air.  And now, there’s one more breath to consider in 2020:  The breath being torturously snatched from a helpless George Floyd, as he lies on the dirty pavement, at the mercy of merciless men.

Breath – it’s how we began life.  May we each – and as a nation – come to know the breath of the Holy Spirit, as it cleanses and renews, as it keeps us alive and makes us holy.  God bless you and keep you safe from all harm.

 💙

A Heart that Waits and Learns

       It is Holy Saturday, and as we anxiously await the rolling away of the stone, discovering Jesus in the garden, finding Him watching for us on the shore - and waiting for this pandemic to be subdued and controlled - I am reminded that this time is ripe for getting to know better my God and my Self. 

There are poems and prayers circulating about this time of pandemic, and each one that I've been sent (or sent myself) speak to opportunities during this time of waiting: Getting to know our families more; discovering talents that we didn't know we had; spending time just "being."  In actuality, all have to do with ultimately becoming the person that we were created to be.  

But I challenge us not to go about trying to create ourselves into these more grateful, evolved beings but instead learning to allow God to show us our authentic selves, the unique individuals that God created us to become. Our true self is already within each of us; we are authentically and beautifully created, while still in our mothers' wombs.  We have been knit together by a Loving Creator.

I asked myself this week: What am I doing for Christ during this pandemic?  I have been feeling stymied by the suspension of what I was doing before we began self-isolating.  Opportunities to continue volunteering outside my home have all but ceased, but other occasions for loving my neighbor have increased or been discovered... not to mention more time for prayer: The money I'm saving on gas alone can go to local food pantries that are feeding even more people now; I have more time to read about the causes that I am involved in or in which I want to become involved so that I'm better educated and better prepared to take action someday soon; I have more time to connect with friends in the same town or across the country; I can send more letters and cards to my friend on death row to help keep up his spirits while there are no visitations permitted; I can spend more time praying for others and the countless needs of those around the world; I can meet with people from my church more easily, because we're now just a click away and not 50 minutes apart; I can fall in love with my spouse again; talk to my cat more and watch her lovingly respond to the extra attention; I can literally watch God recreating the world, as each day the leaves are bigger and greener and the irises go from dormant to full bloom!  My list could go on and on, and I'm sure your list of callings and blessings could do the same.

As we excitedly await speaking "Alleluia! He is Risen!" let's remember that we are not just in a holding pattern during COVID-19.  Each of us has more time and more quiet to find within ourselves the person that each was born to become.  And we have more time to do so as we put on Christ during these holiest of days.  Let our Lord teach you about yourself. Be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit - no matter how small you think the nudge may be. Allow the Creator to show you the Unconditional Love in which you were born.  Watch for the glory of the empty tomb. Await His calling you by name - and, importantly, prepare yourself to answer.

Happy Easter to friends and family!  Blessings and all Good be to you and to those you love. 

💙

A Heart that will Listen to You

       It is Noon on the second Sunday that all churches in our area are closed for worship.  I hope that most, if not all, of you have found either that your church offers a "virtual worship service" or that you have found another church that offers you the Word (online) on Sunday mornings.

Everyone who knows me personally, or reads this blog, knows that I am a spiritual director.  I do presently meet with directees online - via Skype or Zoom.  At this stressful time, I want to offer one free 30-minute session of spiritual direction to anyone who feels isolated from family, friends, or from God or to anyone who has been curious about spiritual direction (what is it? why do I want it? what will I "get" from it?).  My contact information may be found at the bottom of this screen.  If you choose for us to continue to meet together, I offer a sliding-scale fee.  I will never turn away anyone because of lack of funds.

Friends, please pass on this offer to anyone that you think may want or is looking for a heart that will listen to them.  Or better yet, take the time to reach out yourself.  We are all called, at this time especially, to be Christ to one another. 

Stay well, and abide in His Peace.  

💙

A Non-Judgmental Heart

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged;

do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.

Forgive, and you will be forgiven;

give, and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together,

running over, will be put into your lap;

for the measure you give is the measure you will get back."

Luke 6: 36 -38

     Now that we are well into the 40 days of Lent, many of us have given up something that we usually enjoy or indulge in.  If we give up chocolate, are we secretly wanting to lose weight?  (If so, have you noticed it never works?☺) Rather than giving up something we pamper ourselves with or feel we are entitled to, perhaps our Lord is asking us to dig deeper and give up something that usually is neither enjoyable nor to our liking. 

For example, a group of us, who meet annually for Lenten meals and prayer once a week, have chosen to give up something that is keeping us separated from the love of God and from loving our neighbor.  In the Gospel reading for Monday, March 9, 2020, Jesus continues his instructions for his followers on how to live the Good News.  The sixth chapter of Luke is full of important events and teachings: Jesus chooses his 12 and also gives his lesson known as the Beatitudes. Jesus goes on to compare the works of the good with the selfishness of the wicked, and then we're brought to today's Gospel.  We hear about one quality we can choose to put on for Lent and one characteristic that we can give up. 

Christ tells his followers to be like their Heavenly Father, the One He has been describing to his listeners. And one of the ways to be like our Creator is to be merciful. Mercy is defined as leniency and compassion.  Another way to see mercy is the ability to remain free of judgment and instead be forgiving, when someone has harmed you.  Being non-judgmental keeps us merciful, because we have to look beyond the surface action or just the words we hear.  We must not condemn people, but instead we can be more understanding.  

This command from Christ is one of the hardest instructions to follow, but without at least trying to master it, there is no way that we can love our enemies and do good to those who hurt us, or even follow the Golden Rule.  Being judged, and being condemned, especially wrongly, is a mighty lesson in forgiveness.  But even here, Jesus lets us know that our efforts will not go unrewarded. Whatever mercy and forgiveness we are able to give, our Heavenly Parent will show us the same - and then even more so.  The love, compassion, and benevolence of our gracious God will be given to us till it overflows! 

So there is still time to do something for the sake of your spiritual life during this season of Lent.  In addition to giving up that indulgence, give up being narrow in your opinion of others; give up summing up someone before (or right after) you meet them; or give up condemning someone for their sin, because we are all sinners!  Instead, offer the benefit of the doubt, forgive instead of holding a grudge, or offer understanding instead of condemnation.  

Lent is a time for reflection on our relationship with God - and about what stands in the way of that connection.  We can give up something and make a sacrifice for Christ, but is that enough?  Will giving up going to the movies or drinking expensive coffee bring you closer to God?  Or will being more forgiving tear down barriers between you and God, between you and your neighbor?  It's your choice; choose from your heart.

💙

Refuge for Your Heart

      Good morning on a rainy, cold day when I'm blessed enough to be at home.  The Christmas lights around my house, in my windows, and on outdoor railings look peaceful and soothing - all is calm, all is bright.  Like millions of Christians around the world, I await the birth of the Christ Child with anticipation and even a little excitement, as if I was really going to go visit Mary and Joseph's newborn for the first time on December 25th!

This morning I read an article, The Christmas Story for Grownups, that I want to share with you, because it was so poignant to me.  The author discusses the Christmas story that is rarely told to children, and how St. Matthew's version of the birth of this Precious Child surrounds Him with anything but tranquility.  It's the story of Jesus's first moments and days on earth that even adults don't want to spend much time contemplating.  

Bryan Massingale, a professor of theological and social ethics, takes this version of Jesus's first days and compares them to our own time in history.  I encourage you to read The Real Christmas Story (the name by which it was published) and then read from the Gospel of Matthew.  In light of Fr. Bryan's article, you may find yourself reading these verses from Matthew with new eyes.  

Then I suggest that you and I spend time in prayer, after these two readings:  Ask God what we can learn from the gospel message. Go deeper - is there more than only the story of our Savior's birth?  We can imagine ourselves too in any of the scenes. Next ask the Christ Child for the grace to live this holy season with true compassion for those who dwell on the margins, including those who would welcome even a stable for their shelter tonight.

May we always remember that Jesus came to us at a time when the world was brutal and hurting.  May we continuously turn to Him for the true Peace.  Amen.

💙

A Heart Ready for Advent

       There is a prayer form that was created by Ignatius of Loyola that is still applicable and meaningful today - whether done in his traditional sense or through contemporary adaptations of the same four steps.  It is called The Examen.

Praying the Examen offers us 15 to 20 minutes to quietly recognize the Divine Presence and together, with God, look back over our day and reflect on how we lived it - where we found joy, when we were less than our best authentic selves, where we felt God's Presence, and how we can ready ourselves for the next day.  The Examen can be done twice a day - at Noon and at the end of our day.  So if you do the Examen twice in a day, you allow yourself time to ready yourself for the rest of that same day - maybe making up for the morning's moments that weren't your best, or perhaps continuing on in a particular manner that you know pleases our Lord.

You've read about James Martin, SJ on this Blog a number of times, so I want to offer you another opportunity to learn from this loving Jesuit and to pray the Examen during this Advent season.  When you click here, you will be taken to a website that actually has an Examen meditation set up for you, led by James Martin.  The most recent will be on the top of the screen; the meditation changes each Sunday and is used throughout the week that follows.  You can begin today, with his thoughtful words and encouragement, to ready your heart for the coming of the Christ Child this Christmas morning.

Please join me and countless other Christians in this simple, centuries-old prayer form.  Through it, you will give your heart to God each day in gratitude and praise.   

 💙 

A Heart with More to Give

     Today is the day after Thanksgiving, and forever more, I guess, is going to be known as Black Friday.  The name originates from different times in history, but it is now identified more in relation to retail stores working hard to be “in the black” or at a profit. Because, let’s face it, our culture revolves around what we can buy, what we can keep, and how we can attain what we want materially at the cheapest price.  We spent the day before, (hopefully) being thankful for who love us, those whom we love, and for what we have – compared to those who have less.

So what about those who have less?  Is it just about people whose home is smaller or whose car is less reliable and not as pretty?  Are those who have less the ones whose children have to share a bedroom with siblings? Or the children who don’t have a cellphone by the time they’re 10 years old or who don’t get a car when they turn 16?  Are these the ones that have less?  Or is there more to this having less?

Let’s look at this parable that Jesus told in Matthew 25:

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick, or in prison, and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’  

Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.’”

So who are the ones that Jesus, the King in this story, describes as the ones having less – “the least of these”?  They are the people who may have (only) the clothes on their backs, but maybe they do not have a warm coat for the winter.  They are the families with food, but food only enough for the children to eat that day, while their parents skip the day’s meals.  They are the people who have water to drink, but their water is from a polluted source.  They are the people who are sick or dying in a clean hospital, but they’re without someone to visit them or who are actually going to die alone.  They are the new people, the strangers, who moved into an apartment down the street, but they fled from another homeland and can’t speak their new country’s language yet and could never read or write.  Or they are the person in prison who knows nothing more than deep poverty of mind, body, and spirit, who maybe has no one to visit them, to pray for them, to write to them, or to help them change their lives.

Where do I fall in this story that Christ told his followers?  I find myself examining my life to see where I fit into the parable.  Am I someone who feeds the hungry or welcomes the stranger?  Is there more I can do to create a cleaner safer world so that everyone has a source for clean drinking water?  When do I visit the sick that are not my friends but people I don't know who bear their illnesses alone?  How can I help more the immigrant and the stranger to feel more at home?  How can I reflect Christ’s compassion for those in prison?  How can I really see injustice and do something about it?

I can continue to ask myself these questions and yet remain in my comfortable home doing only for those who are near and those who are dear to me.  I can pray for all of the least of these, but I can also give of myself, my time, my resources, and my love for God.  Because when I re-read this parable for the third time, I realized a most important sentence for me: “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’”  Is this the only reason to do these good works – to stay out of the fires of hell?  Or do I choose to do them, because of my genuine love for Christ?  Do I want to please my Heavenly Parent, because God loves me so much?  Or do I want to do for others, because it makes me feel good about myself? 

So there are three things I need to consider:

1. Do I see the least of these as Jesus’s brothers and sisters – and therefore my own brothers and sisters?

2. Do I recognize my responsibility in seeking out and physically helping my sisters and brothers in Christ?

3. Do I give freely with a heart full of love – from a heart that has always more to give?

Maybe on this Black Friday, we can give the money we save, from stores’ lower prices, to a charity.  Maybe we can give the time we save from shopping online to a food pantry or a nursing home.  Maybe we can offer ourselves more to Jesus, our King, and ask Him where we can use our talents for those with less.  One thing that won’t be a “maybe” – if we pray and listen, our Lord will show us how to have a more giving heart.

💙

Midweek Meditation - A Fisher's Heart

One day, Jesus was standing by Lake Gennesaret, and the crowd pressed in on

him to hear the word of God.  He saw two boats moored by the side of the lake;

the fishers had disembarked and were washing their nets.

Jesus stepped into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and

asked him to pull out a short distance from the shore; then,

remaining seated, he continued to teach the crowds from the boat.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, 

"Pull out into the deep water and lower your nets for a catch."

Simon answered, "Rabbi, we've been working hard all night long 

and have caught nothing; but if you say so, I'll lower the nets."

Upon doing so, they caught such a great number of fish that their nets

were at the breaking point.  They signaled to their mates in the other boat

to come and help them, and together they filled the two boats

until they both nearly sank.

After Simon saw what happened, he was filled with awe 

and fell down before Jesus, saying, 

"Leave me, Rabbi, for I'm a sinner." 

For Simon and his shipmates were astonished at the size of the catch they had made, 

as were James and John, Zebedee's sons, who were Simon's partners.

Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you'll fish among humankind."

And when they brought their boats to shore, they left everything 

and followed him.

Luke 5: 1-11 - The Inclusive New Testament

      The apostles had to follow Jesus for three years before being able to start a Church and to change the world.  How long have I been following Christ, and what have I done with my life?  

Have I followed Christ's commands - so simple, yet so hard: "Pull into the deep water and drop your nets" and "Don't be afraid."?  When I am in the deep waters of unknowing but continue on, when I am called to follow blindly what human reason tells me will not work, then I am indeed following God's call in my everyday life.  When Something tells me to stop and help a person in a parking lot or on a bus bench, I am answering God's Call.  When I feel drawn to step out and begin working for (or against) just a small bit of the suffering that this world is offering right now, I am answering God's Call.

But even more importantly, do I see the Face of Christ in the people I help?  Do I see His Hands when I place water and a snack into the outstretched arms of someone begging on a corner?  How wide do I spread the net of Jesus's love for all of humanity?  Do I only hear God's Call to help people who look and live just like me?  Or do I spread the net of God's Love to feed and serve, clothe and shelter, offer peace and visit all of the ones that God created - Everyone?  How can I begin to answer God's Call?  How can I go deeper into answering God's Call?

How large is your net?  How deep are the waters that you go out into?  How much trust do you put into Christ's commands, knowing you are doing the will of His Father?  I challenge us to sit with these questions today. 

May your heart be open to God's continuous call.

💙  

The Fervent Heart

       I find that many books on my shelves have to do with prayer of different types - mostly contemplative but also a number about the Ignatian form of prayer. Their content is varied, different, but there's one thing in common: Prayer leads to deep-seated devotion to God, if we stick with it.  Just like any important relationship, the one we have with God requires energy and fervency.  Remember what is written in Revelations about the "lukewarm"? Yikes!

I receive an email newsletter from Fr. James Martin, SJ every week, and this past week's message was very pertinent, for people who are struggling with their prayer lives - whether one has been at it for 60 years or for six months.  I am asked often in spiritual direction about prayer: Am I doing it right?  How do I know God is listening?  Am I expected to pray in a particular way?  But I've never had anyone ask me about this topic addressed by James Martin; namely, how do I get through prayer when I'm being tempted away from it and being tempted during it.

Here's his message from November 4th:

WEEKLY MEDITATION: If you face temptations in prayer, be honest with God.

What’s your experience of praying while you’re tempted? And don’t tell me that you’ve never had that problem before. Everyone gets tempted from time to time, even the most spiritually experienced. A few years ago a sister who was on retreat with me told me that she had a hard time praying with Ignatian contemplation, that is, imagining yourself in a Scripture passage. She said that she had no imagination. I wasn’t sure what to say about that, until an idea dawned on me. I said, “Sister, have you never once had a sexual fantasy?” And she laughed out loud, and I said, “I guess you do have an imagination!”

But temptation in prayer isn’t limited to those kinds of distractions; it’s something broader. You can be tempted to all sorts of things while you’re praying. You can be tempted to anger over something minor. Or to a desire for revenge towards someone against whom you’ve held a grudge. Or temptation to think more about material things, like buying a new phone, when you should be focused on God. What do you do with these temptations? Well, first, recognize them, and don’t let them disturb you. Let them go if you can and refocus on God. But if you can’t let them go, then bring them into your prayer. It might be an invitation to ask God about them. Or it may simply be an invitation to pray while you’re tempted. Maybe you can say, “God, I’m tempted but I’m still with you.” God will understand. After all, the Gospels tell us that even Jesus was tempted. Remember that God is always with you, even while you’re tempted.

I remember when I was making the Spiritual Exercises the first time, I found that I was being tempted away from my hour of prayer on almost a daily basis.  Those times were most prevalent when praying about giving my life to Jesus and wanting to learn how to be generous - without counting the cost.  Also I was tempted during the days when I was tasked with offering everything to God, and I waited to see if my ministry of spiritual direction was something that would not be given back.  (In other words, not what God wanted me to do but what I wanted to do.  These can be two very different things at times, even though they may both be good choices!)  But I learned, during those 24 weeks, that if I asked for the grace to not be tempted during that hour of prayer each day, the grace was granted.  But I still had to make sure that I was paying attention to the "Object" of my affection, if you will.  I still needed to turn off my phone ringer completely and to shut down any other forms of interaction with people. I would tell family that I was going to pray now and asked not to be disturbed.  These are some ways that we can be sure that we are giving ourselves to God as much as humanly possible, when we are going to enter into concentrated prayer or contemplation.  Don't be embarrassed to tell others that you are getting ready to pray.  Allow others to know of how important your relationship with God is to you!  

A fervent heart is one that is impassioned and dedicated.  It's the kind of heart that the Blessed Trinity has for each one of us.  Allow your heart to be set on fire with love for God!       💙

Midweek Meditation - Do You Have a Co-Creator's Heart?

       While in prayer this morning, a particular one jumped out at me, from Jon Sweeney's The Saint Clare Prayer Book: Listening for God's Leading.  I want to share it now with other spiritual directors, like me, who pray for their ministry and their directees. 

May you have tremendous joy,

obtaining the one thing worth desiring,

but remain surprised by God, 

with awe for God's gift in you.

Be an essential co-worker in the heavenly field,

a co-creator in the work of God,

a support for the Body of Christ.

Amen.

This prayer is meaningful, of course, for anyone who follows Jesus and understands that God's kingdom is now. Chances are, that if you read this blog, you probably minister  to others in big and small ways: Volunteering on church committees, helping at food pantries and soup kitchens, tutoring children, donating money to charities when time is a rare commodity, spending time with the lonely, welcoming the marginalized, and loving and forgiving our neighbors, including the ones we live with in our home. 

As a spiritual director, this prayer resonates with me though, as I do get to experience a lot of "joy" listening to others as they choose to walk life's paths with a loving and compassionate God.  And even when the path is extremely bumpy or when God seems nowhere about, I do "remain surprised" by how God has worked within hearts and minds to have them join me for that hour once a month.  

In this troubled world, the harvest seems not quite as plentiful as it did earlier in my life. But that's what the enemy of our souls wants us to believe by all the bad news we read and hear. When permitted, the Holy Spirit still blows open the windows and doors of our hearts - and our churches - to allow the always-creating God to move us to do the "work of God" in our own unique ways and with our own distinct gifts. 

So for this midweek meditation, consider asking yourself these questions and giving Christ time to provide the answers:

+ In what specific ways do I support the Body of Christ?  When and where am I working in this heavenly field?

+ What is it that I do for God's kingdom that springs forth as a gift within me, a gift from my Creator?  Have I thanked God for that gift? Have I asked God how to use my gifts even more?

+ What have I done for Christ in the past?  What can I do for Christ today?  What may I do for Christ with my future? (Based on The Spiritual Exercises by Ignatius of Loyola.)

In all you do today, may you continue to be amazed and delighted by God!

💙

A Youthful Heart

      Today is my birthday, on which - as the years rush by - I always take time to pause and reflect over those years and the ones ahead.  Yesterday's Psalm reading is a favorite of mine, as it reminds me that no matter where I go, what I do, at what stage of my life, and even before I was born, God knew me and loved me.  God sees and knows all that I do and everything I am about to say, yet God gives me the ability to choose my path, to choose God or to go in another direction.  Yet even when I have been led astray through weakness or at the prompting of my soul's enemy, I am free to return to God ... and God patiently waits.  So I offer you this reading from Psalm 139.

O Lord, you have probed me and you know me; 
you know when I sit and when I stand;
you understand my thoughts from afar.
My journeys and my rest you scrutinize,
with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know the whole of it.
Behind me and before, you hem me in
and rest your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your spirit?
from your presence where can I flee?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I sink to the nether world, you are present there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
if I settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
Even there your hand shall guide me,
and your right hand hold me fast...

Truly you have formed my inmost being;
you knit me in my  mother's womb.
I give you thanks that I am fearfully,
wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works.
My soul also you knew full well;
nor was my frame unknown to you
When I was made in secret,
when I was fashioned in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes have seen my actions;
in your book they are all written;
my days were limited before one of them existed.
How weighty are your designs, O God;
how vast the sum of them!
Were I to recount them, they would
outnumber the sands;
did I reach the end of them, I should still be with you...

Probe me, O God, and know my heart;
try me, and know my thoughts;
See if my way is crooked,
and lead me in the way of old.

💙

Midweek Meditation - The Heart You Want to Offer

       Each morning when we awake, we have an opportunity to choose to put on Christ, to wear our love for God on our sleeve, to let the Holy Spirit guide our day.  Recently I have had someone disappoint me, appear to lie - and it's not the first time.  So I've come to realize that what to do with this type of relationship is up to me.  I can't expect this person to change; I know how hard it is to want to change, much less to actually do the changing.  So I can only want to change myself ... and to take it farther, to become the person that I want to be in the face of whatever Life throws at me.

I can't help but think about the countless times that Jesus was disappointed according to scripture.  He lived a life of clarity and truth, of compassion and prayer, and yet everyone seemed to question who He was, where He came from, and by whose authority He did what He did - even those who knew him the best.  I think of how when the rooster crowed, right before His Passion and Death, how He turned to look at Peter.  The man that Christ would give His future Church to didn't have the courage to be truthful, when fear overtook him.

So this Midweek Meditation is about the type of heart that we want to have and how we want to offer it to God and to our neighbors.  Here's a few questions I will ponder, and offer to you, today:

 Do I live up to my potential as a child of God?

Am I living an authentic life, being the person that God created me to be?

Can love exist when there's fear or mistrust?

Do I have a "clean heart"? (Psalm 51)

Do I disappoint myself? Others?

With the help of the Holy Spirit, I can become the person that I hope to be: patient, kind, generous, loving, peace-filled, joyful, modest, self-disciplined, good, and faithful.  Will I disappoint myself and others?  Yes, because I'm human and so is everyone else on this earth.  Therefore, what I want from others, I must want from myself: A Heart Worthy to Offer.  💙

Your Unique Heart

The Prayer of Cyrus Brown
By Sam Walter Foss (1858 – 1911)

"The proper way for a man to pray,"
Said Deacon Lemuel Keys,
"and the only proper attitude
is down upon his knees."

"No, I should say the way to pray,"
Said Rev. Dr. Wise,
"is standing straight with outstretched arms
And rapt and upturned eyes."

"Oh, no, no, no"
Said Elmer Slow.
"Such posture is too proud.
a man should pray with eyes closed and head bowed."

"Seems to me his hands should be
austerely clasped in front,
with both thumbs pointing toward the ground,"
said Rev. Dr. Blunt.

"Last year I fell in Hitchkin's well,
headfirst," said Cyrus Brown,
"and both my heels were stickin' up
and my head was a pointin' down.

"And I made a prayer right then and there,
the best prayer I ever said.
the prayin'est prayer I ever prayed
was standin' on my head."

I imagine that some of you have read this poem before, but seeing it today, in my readings, was a first for me.  I loved it, as it reminds me of how often people get caught-up in these types of questions:

Am I praying enough?

Am I praying the right way?

Am I praying at the right time?

Am I saying the right words?

Am I being heard by God?

I think the answers are found between you and God…

Is God nudging you to spend more time with him, and then you think you'll get to God later?

Are you going to God in prayer in such a way that you are speaking whole-heartedly?  Or are you holding back part of yourself or allowing too many interruptions to occur?

God is ever-present, so there’s no time like the present to pray!

Are you being your authentic self when you speak to God?  Or are you caught up in elaborate words that are meaningless to you AND to God?  Are you giving God lip service or giving your unique heart?

God is ever-present, so God is always listening.  God is Love, so God longs to hear from God's beloved children. 

If you want to have a prayer practice that works for you, then practice in your prayer.  If one way doesn’t come sincerely from your heart, then try another way.  John Chapman, OSB, advised people to “Pray as you can, not as you cannot.”  God made you a unique and beloved person.  Go to God with that in mind, knowing you are irreplaceable and loved by God.  Start slowly, if you must, but do start.  Be your authentic self in all you do, including in your prayer.  This means, get to know God and get to know the person that God wants you to be! 

💙