Putting my Heart into Spiritual Direction

        When people ask what I do, and I say that I am a spiritual director, I see various reactions:  Eyes glazing over is one reaction.  Deer-caught-in-headlights is another.  Profound nodding with a quizzical look will happen at times. Then there’s sometimes the chin-raise while saying, “Ah…,” and the subject is instantly changed. Occasionally, there are some who know just enough about it to ask a question, but usually people are not sure what a spiritual director is or what one does. So I thought I’d take a few minutes to tell you a little about this ministry and how it fits my heart so perfectly.

Spiritual direction goes as far back as the first centuries of the church with those early Christians who chose to live as hermits; today we call them the Desert Fathers and Mothers.  After long periods of time alone, they would on occasion seek spiritual wisdom from one of the elders. Sometimes just a word or brief advice would help sustain them in their deep relationships with God. Thus began what has become known as spiritual direction.  It is a practice that continued in the Church for and with those “in the religious life;” namely, monks, priests, and nuns. But over the centuries, and as the Church has allowed the Holy Spirit to take Her to new and enlivened places, the ministry has become one for lay people too – and offered by lay people as well.  That’s where I am forever grateful to God.  Spiritual direction, through my own director and through my training to become one myself, has made me a more authentic person. Because the closer we get to our Creator, the more authentically (or genuinely) ourselves we become – the person that God created us to be and what God created us to do in this life.

If you wonder who goes to a spiritual director – and if you could possibly be one of those people – here’s how I see this ministry:  People in search of a spiritual director can be of any age and of any background.  They can be spiritual, religious, spiritual-but-not-religious, a brand new believer, or someone who has grown up with a solid faith and a faith practice. They can be people who “gave up” on God, when they gave up on the established Church.  Sometimes people who are questioning the very existence of a Higher Power may want to spend time talking with a spiritual director too.  But whoever the person is, there is always one thing that I am absolutely sure about that person – she/he/they did not contact me on their own power.  They were nudged and loved into their curiosity about God by their Higher Power.

Sometimes people wonder what I do while meeting with someone in spiritual direction.  My answer is short: “We talk about God”!  We spend time finding where God has been present – in their day-to-day lives, in the people they’ve met, and in the places least expected. You see, I don’t really “direct” anyone; I neither tell directees what to do or not to do nor counsel or proselytize.  My directee and I sit in a comfortable setting and let the Spirit of God guide us to where our time together goes.  I listen, while they talk.  Or we both listen for God. Or I hear something that I feel I’m being called to say - or so do they.  Sometimes we both marvel at what has been said, because we know that we weren’t thinking that earlier. Our time together is filled with God’s loving Presence, and it can be life-giving, amazing, and joyful.

When coming to spiritual direction, many times people are trying to determine the best decision to make for their lives, about their families, or regarding career changes. Sometimes people want to know where God has been lately.  Why God has let them down, or if they have let down God.  People will wonder whether God loves them at all, or if they’re being drawn into a deeper relationship with God.  A directee may want their spiritual life to move past what it was like when they were 10 years old.  Or they may feel like God isn’t listening to their prayers anymore.  If you have ever thought about these things, or felt this way, then spiritual direction may be something that you want to give to yourself!

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I am largely trained in Ignatian Spirituality, founded by Ignatius of Loyola in the 16^th century, and I find that this form of spirituality fits me like a glove. The man was a genius about human nature and the Nature of God!  I use this training mostly within my role as spiritual director and can guide directees in various Ignatian forms of prayer.  

However, I have also trained for leadership in contemplative prayer groups and retreats.  Contemplative prayer forms lead one into the quiet, a form of prayer that has been practiced for centuries.  Silence is an important part of my life and my relationship with God.  I strongly think our culture can be too busy, too frantic, too loud, and too preoccupied for its own good.  It is in the silence that we cultivate where we meet the Silence our hearts long for.

As a member of Spiritual Directors International (SDI), I quote from them on reasons why one may seek a spiritual director or spiritual companion:

“Within you dwells the desire to find meaning in every moment… to discover our true self… to experience kindness and acceptance for ourselves and share it with others… to feel a deep connection to the ground of all being.  A spiritual companion can support you in the journey of a lifetime.”

 

As a member of SDI, I also follow their Guidelines for Ethical Conduct in my ministry.  Because I trained for two years (and continue to do so) in this ministry, I ask a fee and work on a sliding scale. I encourage directees to discuss with me any questions about that scale, if cost is prohibitive to taking part in this ministry.

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I hope this introduction to spiritual direction has been helpful to you.  If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me.  May the peace of God go with you today. 💙

The Heart of Faith – Believing in What We Cannot See

          Today, in the Church Lectionary, the Gospel reading comes from John 20: 24-29.  July 3^rd is the Feast Day of Thomas the Apostle, so the church tells us one of the stories about this follower of Jesus.  It’s the one story that 2000 years later, Thomas still can't live down.  From the passage below, he’s forever known as “Doubting Thomas.”

Here’s the story:

Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord." But he said to them, "Unless I see in his hands the print of the nails, and place my finger in the mark of the nails, and place my hand in his side, I will not believe." Eight days later, his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. The doors were shut, but Jesus came and stood among them, and said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side; do not be faithless, but believing." Thomas answered him, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe."

I’m choosing to write about this particular man today, because I’ve always felt an affinity to him.  After all, how many of us – even those with the deepest faith – have not had moments, maybe days, of doubts or even unbelief?  But it’s not wrong to wonder about what we can’t see – it’s human.

Moreover, the fact that Thomas doubted that his friends were telling him the truth, doesn’t make him a disciple-gone-wrong.  Just because he wanted to see Jesus for himself, in order to be sure that what they told him was true, doesn’t make him a bad person.  And what Jesus does next proves my point.

When Jesus returns this time to the locked room where the disciples are hiding, the first thing He says to everyone gathered is “Peace be with you.”  He wants them to be unafraid, to feel good about him being there with them.  And then Jesus approaches Thomas, but He doesn’t reproach him. Instead Jesus does the opposite. He uses the occasion to tenderly show Thomas that it is He by pointing out the scars from the nails in his hands and the scar from the lance in His side.  And then Jesus continues to teach us by saying, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”

Blessed!  Yes, anyone who believes in Him is blessed, because it takes faith to believe in that Someone whom we can’t see or physically touch.  When I have moments where I question, or when I see followers of Jesus today who appear to miss the mark, or if I just feel too beat up by life, I remember how Jesus responded to Thomas.  Christ treated Thomas kindly, and by His reaching out to the apostle, we’re reminded today that, as humans, we are going to have moments of doubt – and it’s okay.

What is essential for faith is to have an open heart – an honest, vulnerable, human heart – like Thomas’s.  And then God will take it from there.  💙

Get your Heart in the Game!

Watching this year’s Women’s World Cup Finals, I am struck again by the superhuman stamina and strength of these soccer players.  They have to run for 45 minutes straight, are barely given a break, and then back out on the field to do it all again for another 45.  And every year I think, “How do they prepare themselves for all the various challenges they face in a match?  How do they ready their bodies for the strenuous abuse they place on them?  How do they build their strength to keep their muscles functioning for the long kicks as well as for the blocks?  How do they train their minds to stay sharp, always ready for the opponent’s next move?  How do they stay confident and positive that they can, not only play by the rules but, keep on playing when their defeat may be imminent?  I watch as they bravely throw their bodies into the play, fall and get up again, slide and bounce back into the game.  How do they do this without getting discouraged?  How do they keep on and not give up?  The players possess something that we all wish we had – faith that they are ready and trust that they're never alone.

There were times when my life and my relationships were as tough as a World Cup soccer match.  I felt beaten up by circumstances – some of which I brought on myself and some that were just part of life.  I got into bad relationships, or I was bad at the relationship that I was in at the time.  I was faced with unexpected decisions and with decisions that were made for me that I had to endure.  Regardless, I don’t think that I had prepared myself the right way for the “long kicks,” the “falls,” and the slippery “slides” that I underwent. I have always had faith, but I didn’t always have trust.

Growing in our faith and trust in God is a lot like being in a World Cup Final.  We do what we can to prepare ourselves.  And we also seek supernatural Power to bring us the rest of what we need to be our best.  It has been said (and attributed to several) that we should work as if everything depends on ourselves and pray as though it all depends on God.  

Start today, if you haven’t already, having a simple faith in the One that brought you into life, and then trust that this same Loving One will not drop you into the game and then leave you to fend for yourself.  A “prayerful heart” must first be desired, then trained, and then tested for its strength.  It’s not always easy, but its joys are so worth the effort!  💙

Start with your Heart or Welcome to my Blog!

Creating the description for the title of my Blog I thought would be difficult, but it came to me quite easily. There are a myriad of ways to describe a life and countless ways to describe God. No matter how we would say our life is going or where our relationship with God is at - God still wants to hear from us. And that's what I hope to encourage in all of us: A heart for God.

Since having a spiritual director, and becoming one myself, I find that every day is lived in a new way – in a new consciousness of God’s Presence.  What this awareness has done for me is to create a new heart within me. I have a more prayerful heart, if you will. 

I have come to realize more fully that God is closer to me than I am to myself, as St. Augustine wrote in his Confessions, “But you were more inward than my own inwardness.”  I like to tell my directees that God is just a breath away.  But in essence, the Creator is who gives us each breath we breathe.

As a spiritual director, I want to help people to see where God is in their everyday lives – in the strange wonderfulness of nature, in the people we hold dear as well as those we just pass with a smile, and in how we are able to silently read this page.  Everything is a gift from the Universe!  We can develop a prayerful heart by first learning to be grateful.  Just as you give that smile or nod to a stranger you pass at the office or in the coffee shop, we can start by doing the same with God.  If “Thank you” is too many syllables, just say “Thanks” and mean it.

It’s a start to nurturing a heart that pleases God, and by pleasing the Divine, your life will never be the same.  From this prayerful heart to yours, welcome to my Blog. 💙