When
people ask what I do, and I say that I am a spiritual director, I see various
reactions: Eyes glazing over is
one reaction. Deer-caught-in-headlights is
another. Profound nodding with a
quizzical look will happen at times. Then there’s sometimes the chin-raise while
saying, “Ah…,” and the subject is instantly changed. Occasionally, there
are some who know just enough about it to ask a question, but usually people
are not sure what a spiritual director is or what one does. So I thought I’d take a few
minutes to tell you a little about this ministry and how it fits my heart so
perfectly.
Spiritual
direction goes as far back as the first centuries of the church with those early
Christians who chose to live as hermits; today we call them the Desert Fathers
and Mothers. After long periods of time
alone, they would on occasion seek spiritual wisdom from one of the elders. Sometimes
just a word or brief advice would help sustain them in their deep relationships
with God. Thus began what has become known as spiritual direction. It is a practice that continued in the Church
for and with those “in the religious life;” namely, monks, priests, and nuns. But
over the centuries, and as the Church has allowed the Holy Spirit to take Her to
new and enlivened places, the ministry has become one for lay people too – and offered
by lay people as well. That’s where I am
forever grateful to God. Spiritual
direction, through my own director and through my training to become one myself,
has made me a more authentic person. Because the closer we get to our Creator,
the more authentically (or genuinely) ourselves we become – the person that God
created us to be and what God created us to do in this life.
If
you wonder who goes to a spiritual director – and if you could possibly be one
of those people – here’s how I see this ministry: People in search of a spiritual director can
be of any age and of any background.
They can be spiritual, religious, spiritual-but-not-religious, a brand new
believer, or someone who has grown up with a solid faith and a faith practice. They
can be people who “gave up” on God, when they gave up on the established Church.
Sometimes people who are questioning the
very existence of a Higher Power may want to spend time talking with a
spiritual director too. But whoever the
person is, there is always one thing that I am absolutely sure about that person – she/he/they did not contact me
on their own power. They were nudged and
loved into their curiosity about God by their Higher Power.
Sometimes
people wonder what I do while meeting with someone in spiritual direction. My answer is short: “We talk about God”! We spend time finding where God has been
present – in their day-to-day lives, in the people they’ve met, and in the
places least expected. You see, I don’t really “direct” anyone; I neither tell
directees what to do or not to do nor counsel or proselytize. My directee and I sit in a comfortable
setting and let the Spirit of God guide us to where our time together
goes. I listen, while they talk. Or we both listen for God. Or I hear
something that I feel I’m being called to say - or so do they. Sometimes we both marvel at what has been
said, because we know that we weren’t thinking that earlier. Our time together
is filled with God’s loving Presence, and it can be life-giving, amazing, and joyful.
When
coming to spiritual direction, many times people are trying to determine the
best decision to make for their lives, about their families, or regarding career
changes. Sometimes people want to know where God has been lately. Why God has let them down, or if they have
let down God. People will wonder whether
God loves them at all, or if they’re being drawn into a deeper relationship
with God. A directee may want their
spiritual life to move past what it was like when they were 10 years old. Or they may feel like God isn’t listening to
their prayers anymore. If you have ever thought
about these things, or felt this way, then spiritual direction may be something
that you want to give to yourself!
🔵
I
am largely trained in Ignatian Spirituality, founded by Ignatius of Loyola in
the 16th century, and I find that this form of spirituality fits me
like a glove. The man was a genius about human nature and the Nature of God! I use this training mostly within my role as
spiritual director and can guide directees in various Ignatian forms of prayer.
However,
I have also trained for leadership in contemplative prayer groups and
retreats. Contemplative prayer forms
lead one into the quiet, a form of prayer that has been practiced for
centuries. Silence is an important part
of my life and my relationship with God. I strongly think our culture can be too busy,
too frantic, too loud, and too preoccupied for its own good. It is in the silence that we cultivate where
we meet the Silence our hearts long for.
As
a member of Spiritual Directors International (SDI), I quote from them on
reasons why one may seek a spiritual director or spiritual companion:
“Within
you dwells the desire to find meaning in every moment… to discover our true
self… to experience kindness and acceptance for ourselves and share it with
others… to feel a deep connection to the ground of all being. A spiritual companion can support you in the
journey of a lifetime.”
As
a member of SDI, I also follow their Guidelines for Ethical Conduct in my
ministry. Because I trained for two
years (and continue to do so) in this ministry, I ask a fee and work on a
sliding scale. I encourage directees to discuss with me any questions about
that scale, if cost is prohibitive to taking part in this ministry.
🔵
I
hope this introduction to spiritual direction has been helpful to you. If you have any questions, please feel free
to reach out to me. May the peace of God
go with you today. 💙
