Praying for a Lighter Heart

      As I received two different medical test results over the past 36 hours, I find myself reeling and evaluating life again - and my life specifically.  I know that I am called to hold all things lightly and to see God in all things.  

And I can, and I do.

I want very much to live a long life with all those I love along with enjoying the tremendous beauty of people and this glorious earth.  And I want an opportunity to do the work that I've studied so hard to do for God.  But I know that when I told my Lord that I would do whatever God wanted me to do with my life, I was opening myself up for not only adventure and joy, but also probably more than a bit of confusion at times...

This prayerful heart of mine would like to not question what life brings.  I would like to just accept immediately - without hesitation and without fear of any kind.  I would like to be brave and to offer anything I suffer - mentally, emotionally, and physically - in reparation toward all the wrong that human beings have committed because of our greed, prejudice, anger, bigotry, selfishness, and, let's face it, just plain old-fashioned sin.  But I know there's something I am to learn by getting questionable results from medical tests.  Mainly, I think what I'm supposed to learn is patience (as these tests now require more tests and longer waiting) and also learn how scary things are not meant to make us bitter but more understanding and kinder toward others.  I know God wants the best for me, but I get confused by the "best" when there's always the "lessons."  I'm sure many of you know what I mean.  

So I pray for a lighter heart at this moment:  I want a heart that continues to grow in love with God.  I want to trust more and question less.  I have a post-it note above my kitchen sink (well, I have at least a half dozen) that reads, "Let me find you by loving You.  Let me love you in finding You."  Somehow these two lines are a comfort to me tonight.  I can't remember where I read them, but they were so meaningful that I copied them down weeks ago to keep in mind.  So I just Googled it, found it, and now happily share with you this stunning prayer by St. Anselm of Canterbury:

O my God, teach my heart where and how to seek You,

where and how to find You.

You are my God and You are my all and I have never seen You.

You have made me and remade me,

You have bestowed on me all the good things I possess,

Still I do not know You.

I have not yet done that for which I was made.

Teach me to seek You.

I cannot seek You unless You teach me

or find You unless You show Yourself to me.

Let me seek You in my desire,

let me desire You in my seeking.

Let me find You by loving You,

let me love You when I find You.

Amen

💙

Midweek Meditation - The Heart of Ignatius of Loyola

       Today, July 31^st, is the Feast Day of St. Ignatius of Loyola.  It is his spirituality in which I was trained, as a spiritual director, and whose spirituality that I follow in much of my day-to-day living. 

Below I share with you one of his most famous prayers.  It sums up his deep devotion to God and to his love for things eternal.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me.

Frankly, the first time I read this prayer, I thought here is yet again proof that I am not a saint – and I’ll never be one.  But whenever I recite these words, I really do try to mean them.  Sometimes I will take one line at a time and ask myself whether I am “there” yet.  Everyday I can say the words, “You have given all to me,” and deeply believe them.  But “Everything is yours; do with it what you will” – that’s really a hard one to mean.  (It goes along with the Ignatian spirituality of holding all things lightly.)

And yet at other times, I do mean it when I ask the Lord to take and receive “my memory,” because I don’t like remembering those times when I offended or let down God (and myself) so badly.  Remembering those times are not useful to my soul. I'm forgiven, so now I move on with God's grace.  Also when I tell the Lord to give me only “your love and your grace,” I can mean it, because I want to want only the things of heaven and not the things of this world.

So during today's time of meditation, I invite you to take each line of this prayer (known as The Suscipe – the Latin word for Receive) and see what it means for you and for your spiritual life.  Are you able to read just one line of it – and mean it?  If not, can you read one line in it and want to mean it?  If so, that’s the place to start!  May God’s love and grace go with you today.   💙

P.S.   Click here if you want to learn about the life and conversion of Ignatius of Loyola.

Happy Feast Day, St. Iggy!

The Heart of our Prayers

“He said to them,

When you pray, say

‘Father, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come.

Give us each day our daily bread.

And forgive us our sins,

for we ourselves

forgive everyone indebted to us.

And do not bring us to the time of trial.’”

-         Luke 11: 1-4  (NRSV)

         In the first half of today’s Gospel, Jesus gives a blueprint for how His followers could pray.  One of the disciples asked for his help with prayer, and Christ’s response has become eternal. 

You may have noticed, as I did, that these words are direct and to the point.  First, we are to praise God and God’s Name in all of time, and then we are to ask for our needs to be met – all that’s truly necessary – enough food for this day, forgiveness for ourselves along with mercy enough for us to give to others, and then hope for a happy death and eternal life with God. 

The heart of this prayer, to me, is two things:  First Jesus teaches us a new way to speak to the Creator – nothing flowery and elaborate here.  We’re allowed to get straight to the point. Second, because Jesus came to teach us who God is  – “He who has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:9) – and how much like a loving Father God is to us.  This view of God was new and intimate!

Some of us have trouble saying this prayer, and addressing God as ‘our Father’ because we may have had the type of Father that Jesus refers to later in this same reading: “Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for a fish, will give a snake instead of a fish?” Nowadays we seem to hear and read about these types of fathers in the news way too often. Perhaps this was the kind of father that we had.  In addition to it being very sad and painful we can carry this idea of “father” into all parts of our lives, including our spiritual lives.  

Jesus tells us that by watching him, we have seen the Creator, the Father.  He said that He and the Father are one, and throughout His earthly life, Jesus treated everyone with loving compassion, mercy, and healing kindness.  Therefore, our Father in heaven is the same.  Even if our earthly fathers missed the mark in holiness, our Heavenly Father is perfect and gives us everything we need for life in this world and the next.

And if you need to think of our Creator as without gender, then call God by another beloved name, another pronoun!  What’s important is to remember that all good gifts of each day come from a loving God who wants to be as familiar and as intimate as the best of loving Parents.  And Who is the One listening to the desires of our prayerful hearts.   💙