Refuge for Your Heart

      Good morning on a rainy, cold day when I'm blessed enough to be at home.  The Christmas lights around my house, in my windows, and on outdoor railings look peaceful and soothing - all is calm, all is bright.  Like millions of Christians around the world, I await the birth of the Christ Child with anticipation and even a little excitement, as if I was really going to go visit Mary and Joseph's newborn for the first time on December 25th!

This morning I read an article, The Christmas Story for Grownups, that I want to share with you, because it was so poignant to me.  The author discusses the Christmas story that is rarely told to children, and how St. Matthew's version of the birth of this Precious Child surrounds Him with anything but tranquility.  It's the story of Jesus's first moments and days on earth that even adults don't want to spend much time contemplating.  

Bryan Massingale, a professor of theological and social ethics, takes this version of Jesus's first days and compares them to our own time in history.  I encourage you to read The Real Christmas Story (the name by which it was published) and then read from the Gospel of Matthew.  In light of Fr. Bryan's article, you may find yourself reading these verses from Matthew with new eyes.  

Then I suggest that you and I spend time in prayer, after these two readings:  Ask God what we can learn from the gospel message. Go deeper - is there more than only the story of our Savior's birth?  We can imagine ourselves too in any of the scenes. Next ask the Christ Child for the grace to live this holy season with true compassion for those who dwell on the margins, including those who would welcome even a stable for their shelter tonight.

May we always remember that Jesus came to us at a time when the world was brutal and hurting.  May we continuously turn to Him for the true Peace.  Amen.

💙

A Heart Ready for Advent

       There is a prayer form that was created by Ignatius of Loyola that is still applicable and meaningful today - whether done in his traditional sense or through contemporary adaptations of the same four steps.  It is called The Examen.

Praying the Examen offers us 15 to 20 minutes to quietly recognize the Divine Presence and together, with God, look back over our day and reflect on how we lived it - where we found joy, when we were less than our best authentic selves, where we felt God's Presence, and how we can ready ourselves for the next day.  The Examen can be done twice a day - at Noon and at the end of our day.  So if you do the Examen twice in a day, you allow yourself time to ready yourself for the rest of that same day - maybe making up for the morning's moments that weren't your best, or perhaps continuing on in a particular manner that you know pleases our Lord.

You've read about James Martin, SJ on this Blog a number of times, so I want to offer you another opportunity to learn from this loving Jesuit and to pray the Examen during this Advent season.  When you click here, you will be taken to a website that actually has an Examen meditation set up for you, led by James Martin.  The most recent will be on the top of the screen; the meditation changes each Sunday and is used throughout the week that follows.  You can begin today, with his thoughtful words and encouragement, to ready your heart for the coming of the Christ Child this Christmas morning.

Please join me and countless other Christians in this simple, centuries-old prayer form.  Through it, you will give your heart to God each day in gratitude and praise.   

 💙 

A Heart with More to Give

     Today is the day after Thanksgiving, and forever more, I guess, is going to be known as Black Friday.  The name originates from different times in history, but it is now identified more in relation to retail stores working hard to be “in the black” or at a profit. Because, let’s face it, our culture revolves around what we can buy, what we can keep, and how we can attain what we want materially at the cheapest price.  We spent the day before, (hopefully) being thankful for who love us, those whom we love, and for what we have – compared to those who have less.

So what about those who have less?  Is it just about people whose home is smaller or whose car is less reliable and not as pretty?  Are those who have less the ones whose children have to share a bedroom with siblings? Or the children who don’t have a cellphone by the time they’re 10 years old or who don’t get a car when they turn 16?  Are these the ones that have less?  Or is there more to this having less?

Let’s look at this parable that Jesus told in Matthew 25:

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick, or in prison, and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’  

Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.  For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.’”

So who are the ones that Jesus, the King in this story, describes as the ones having less – “the least of these”?  They are the people who may have (only) the clothes on their backs, but maybe they do not have a warm coat for the winter.  They are the families with food, but food only enough for the children to eat that day, while their parents skip the day’s meals.  They are the people who have water to drink, but their water is from a polluted source.  They are the people who are sick or dying in a clean hospital, but they’re without someone to visit them or who are actually going to die alone.  They are the new people, the strangers, who moved into an apartment down the street, but they fled from another homeland and can’t speak their new country’s language yet and could never read or write.  Or they are the person in prison who knows nothing more than deep poverty of mind, body, and spirit, who maybe has no one to visit them, to pray for them, to write to them, or to help them change their lives.

Where do I fall in this story that Christ told his followers?  I find myself examining my life to see where I fit into the parable.  Am I someone who feeds the hungry or welcomes the stranger?  Is there more I can do to create a cleaner safer world so that everyone has a source for clean drinking water?  When do I visit the sick that are not my friends but people I don't know who bear their illnesses alone?  How can I help more the immigrant and the stranger to feel more at home?  How can I reflect Christ’s compassion for those in prison?  How can I really see injustice and do something about it?

I can continue to ask myself these questions and yet remain in my comfortable home doing only for those who are near and those who are dear to me.  I can pray for all of the least of these, but I can also give of myself, my time, my resources, and my love for God.  Because when I re-read this parable for the third time, I realized a most important sentence for me: “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’”  Is this the only reason to do these good works – to stay out of the fires of hell?  Or do I choose to do them, because of my genuine love for Christ?  Do I want to please my Heavenly Parent, because God loves me so much?  Or do I want to do for others, because it makes me feel good about myself? 

So there are three things I need to consider:

1. Do I see the least of these as Jesus’s brothers and sisters – and therefore my own brothers and sisters?

2. Do I recognize my responsibility in seeking out and physically helping my sisters and brothers in Christ?

3. Do I give freely with a heart full of love – from a heart that has always more to give?

Maybe on this Black Friday, we can give the money we save, from stores’ lower prices, to a charity.  Maybe we can give the time we save from shopping online to a food pantry or a nursing home.  Maybe we can offer ourselves more to Jesus, our King, and ask Him where we can use our talents for those with less.  One thing that won’t be a “maybe” – if we pray and listen, our Lord will show us how to have a more giving heart.

💙

Midweek Meditation - A Fisher's Heart

One day, Jesus was standing by Lake Gennesaret, and the crowd pressed in on

him to hear the word of God.  He saw two boats moored by the side of the lake;

the fishers had disembarked and were washing their nets.

Jesus stepped into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and

asked him to pull out a short distance from the shore; then,

remaining seated, he continued to teach the crowds from the boat.

When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, 

"Pull out into the deep water and lower your nets for a catch."

Simon answered, "Rabbi, we've been working hard all night long 

and have caught nothing; but if you say so, I'll lower the nets."

Upon doing so, they caught such a great number of fish that their nets

were at the breaking point.  They signaled to their mates in the other boat

to come and help them, and together they filled the two boats

until they both nearly sank.

After Simon saw what happened, he was filled with awe 

and fell down before Jesus, saying, 

"Leave me, Rabbi, for I'm a sinner." 

For Simon and his shipmates were astonished at the size of the catch they had made, 

as were James and John, Zebedee's sons, who were Simon's partners.

Jesus said to Simon, "Don't be afraid; from now on you'll fish among humankind."

And when they brought their boats to shore, they left everything 

and followed him.

Luke 5: 1-11 - The Inclusive New Testament

      The apostles had to follow Jesus for three years before being able to start a Church and to change the world.  How long have I been following Christ, and what have I done with my life?  

Have I followed Christ's commands - so simple, yet so hard: "Pull into the deep water and drop your nets" and "Don't be afraid."?  When I am in the deep waters of unknowing but continue on, when I am called to follow blindly what human reason tells me will not work, then I am indeed following God's call in my everyday life.  When Something tells me to stop and help a person in a parking lot or on a bus bench, I am answering God's Call.  When I feel drawn to step out and begin working for (or against) just a small bit of the suffering that this world is offering right now, I am answering God's Call.

But even more importantly, do I see the Face of Christ in the people I help?  Do I see His Hands when I place water and a snack into the outstretched arms of someone begging on a corner?  How wide do I spread the net of Jesus's love for all of humanity?  Do I only hear God's Call to help people who look and live just like me?  Or do I spread the net of God's Love to feed and serve, clothe and shelter, offer peace and visit all of the ones that God created - Everyone?  How can I begin to answer God's Call?  How can I go deeper into answering God's Call?

How large is your net?  How deep are the waters that you go out into?  How much trust do you put into Christ's commands, knowing you are doing the will of His Father?  I challenge us to sit with these questions today. 

May your heart be open to God's continuous call.

💙  

The Fervent Heart

       I find that many books on my shelves have to do with prayer of different types - mostly contemplative but also a number about the Ignatian form of prayer. Their content is varied, different, but there's one thing in common: Prayer leads to deep-seated devotion to God, if we stick with it.  Just like any important relationship, the one we have with God requires energy and fervency.  Remember what is written in Revelations about the "lukewarm"? Yikes!

I receive an email newsletter from Fr. James Martin, SJ every week, and this past week's message was very pertinent, for people who are struggling with their prayer lives - whether one has been at it for 60 years or for six months.  I am asked often in spiritual direction about prayer: Am I doing it right?  How do I know God is listening?  Am I expected to pray in a particular way?  But I've never had anyone ask me about this topic addressed by James Martin; namely, how do I get through prayer when I'm being tempted away from it and being tempted during it.

Here's his message from November 4th:

WEEKLY MEDITATION: If you face temptations in prayer, be honest with God.

What’s your experience of praying while you’re tempted? And don’t tell me that you’ve never had that problem before. Everyone gets tempted from time to time, even the most spiritually experienced. A few years ago a sister who was on retreat with me told me that she had a hard time praying with Ignatian contemplation, that is, imagining yourself in a Scripture passage. She said that she had no imagination. I wasn’t sure what to say about that, until an idea dawned on me. I said, “Sister, have you never once had a sexual fantasy?” And she laughed out loud, and I said, “I guess you do have an imagination!”

But temptation in prayer isn’t limited to those kinds of distractions; it’s something broader. You can be tempted to all sorts of things while you’re praying. You can be tempted to anger over something minor. Or to a desire for revenge towards someone against whom you’ve held a grudge. Or temptation to think more about material things, like buying a new phone, when you should be focused on God. What do you do with these temptations? Well, first, recognize them, and don’t let them disturb you. Let them go if you can and refocus on God. But if you can’t let them go, then bring them into your prayer. It might be an invitation to ask God about them. Or it may simply be an invitation to pray while you’re tempted. Maybe you can say, “God, I’m tempted but I’m still with you.” God will understand. After all, the Gospels tell us that even Jesus was tempted. Remember that God is always with you, even while you’re tempted.

I remember when I was making the Spiritual Exercises the first time, I found that I was being tempted away from my hour of prayer on almost a daily basis.  Those times were most prevalent when praying about giving my life to Jesus and wanting to learn how to be generous - without counting the cost.  Also I was tempted during the days when I was tasked with offering everything to God, and I waited to see if my ministry of spiritual direction was something that would not be given back.  (In other words, not what God wanted me to do but what I wanted to do.  These can be two very different things at times, even though they may both be good choices!)  But I learned, during those 24 weeks, that if I asked for the grace to not be tempted during that hour of prayer each day, the grace was granted.  But I still had to make sure that I was paying attention to the "Object" of my affection, if you will.  I still needed to turn off my phone ringer completely and to shut down any other forms of interaction with people. I would tell family that I was going to pray now and asked not to be disturbed.  These are some ways that we can be sure that we are giving ourselves to God as much as humanly possible, when we are going to enter into concentrated prayer or contemplation.  Don't be embarrassed to tell others that you are getting ready to pray.  Allow others to know of how important your relationship with God is to you!  

A fervent heart is one that is impassioned and dedicated.  It's the kind of heart that the Blessed Trinity has for each one of us.  Allow your heart to be set on fire with love for God!       💙

Midweek Meditation - Do You Have a Co-Creator's Heart?

       While in prayer this morning, a particular one jumped out at me, from Jon Sweeney's The Saint Clare Prayer Book: Listening for God's Leading.  I want to share it now with other spiritual directors, like me, who pray for their ministry and their directees. 

May you have tremendous joy,

obtaining the one thing worth desiring,

but remain surprised by God, 

with awe for God's gift in you.

Be an essential co-worker in the heavenly field,

a co-creator in the work of God,

a support for the Body of Christ.

Amen.

This prayer is meaningful, of course, for anyone who follows Jesus and understands that God's kingdom is now. Chances are, that if you read this blog, you probably minister  to others in big and small ways: Volunteering on church committees, helping at food pantries and soup kitchens, tutoring children, donating money to charities when time is a rare commodity, spending time with the lonely, welcoming the marginalized, and loving and forgiving our neighbors, including the ones we live with in our home. 

As a spiritual director, this prayer resonates with me though, as I do get to experience a lot of "joy" listening to others as they choose to walk life's paths with a loving and compassionate God.  And even when the path is extremely bumpy or when God seems nowhere about, I do "remain surprised" by how God has worked within hearts and minds to have them join me for that hour once a month.  

In this troubled world, the harvest seems not quite as plentiful as it did earlier in my life. But that's what the enemy of our souls wants us to believe by all the bad news we read and hear. When permitted, the Holy Spirit still blows open the windows and doors of our hearts - and our churches - to allow the always-creating God to move us to do the "work of God" in our own unique ways and with our own distinct gifts. 

So for this midweek meditation, consider asking yourself these questions and giving Christ time to provide the answers:

+ In what specific ways do I support the Body of Christ?  When and where am I working in this heavenly field?

+ What is it that I do for God's kingdom that springs forth as a gift within me, a gift from my Creator?  Have I thanked God for that gift? Have I asked God how to use my gifts even more?

+ What have I done for Christ in the past?  What can I do for Christ today?  What may I do for Christ with my future? (Based on The Spiritual Exercises by Ignatius of Loyola.)

In all you do today, may you continue to be amazed and delighted by God!

💙

A Youthful Heart

      Today is my birthday, on which - as the years rush by - I always take time to pause and reflect over those years and the ones ahead.  Yesterday's Psalm reading is a favorite of mine, as it reminds me that no matter where I go, what I do, at what stage of my life, and even before I was born, God knew me and loved me.  God sees and knows all that I do and everything I am about to say, yet God gives me the ability to choose my path, to choose God or to go in another direction.  Yet even when I have been led astray through weakness or at the prompting of my soul's enemy, I am free to return to God ... and God patiently waits.  So I offer you this reading from Psalm 139.

O Lord, you have probed me and you know me; 
you know when I sit and when I stand;
you understand my thoughts from afar.
My journeys and my rest you scrutinize,
with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know the whole of it.
Behind me and before, you hem me in
and rest your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your spirit?
from your presence where can I flee?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I sink to the nether world, you are present there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
if I settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
Even there your hand shall guide me,
and your right hand hold me fast...

Truly you have formed my inmost being;
you knit me in my  mother's womb.
I give you thanks that I am fearfully,
wonderfully made;
wonderful are your works.
My soul also you knew full well;
nor was my frame unknown to you
When I was made in secret,
when I was fashioned in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes have seen my actions;
in your book they are all written;
my days were limited before one of them existed.
How weighty are your designs, O God;
how vast the sum of them!
Were I to recount them, they would
outnumber the sands;
did I reach the end of them, I should still be with you...

Probe me, O God, and know my heart;
try me, and know my thoughts;
See if my way is crooked,
and lead me in the way of old.

💙

Midweek Meditation - The Heart You Want to Offer

       Each morning when we awake, we have an opportunity to choose to put on Christ, to wear our love for God on our sleeve, to let the Holy Spirit guide our day.  Recently I have had someone disappoint me, appear to lie - and it's not the first time.  So I've come to realize that what to do with this type of relationship is up to me.  I can't expect this person to change; I know how hard it is to want to change, much less to actually do the changing.  So I can only want to change myself ... and to take it farther, to become the person that I want to be in the face of whatever Life throws at me.

I can't help but think about the countless times that Jesus was disappointed according to scripture.  He lived a life of clarity and truth, of compassion and prayer, and yet everyone seemed to question who He was, where He came from, and by whose authority He did what He did - even those who knew him the best.  I think of how when the rooster crowed, right before His Passion and Death, how He turned to look at Peter.  The man that Christ would give His future Church to didn't have the courage to be truthful, when fear overtook him.

So this Midweek Meditation is about the type of heart that we want to have and how we want to offer it to God and to our neighbors.  Here's a few questions I will ponder, and offer to you, today:

 Do I live up to my potential as a child of God?

Am I living an authentic life, being the person that God created me to be?

Can love exist when there's fear or mistrust?

Do I have a "clean heart"? (Psalm 51)

Do I disappoint myself? Others?

With the help of the Holy Spirit, I can become the person that I hope to be: patient, kind, generous, loving, peace-filled, joyful, modest, self-disciplined, good, and faithful.  Will I disappoint myself and others?  Yes, because I'm human and so is everyone else on this earth.  Therefore, what I want from others, I must want from myself: A Heart Worthy to Offer.  💙

Your Unique Heart

The Prayer of Cyrus Brown
By Sam Walter Foss (1858 – 1911)

"The proper way for a man to pray,"
Said Deacon Lemuel Keys,
"and the only proper attitude
is down upon his knees."

"No, I should say the way to pray,"
Said Rev. Dr. Wise,
"is standing straight with outstretched arms
And rapt and upturned eyes."

"Oh, no, no, no"
Said Elmer Slow.
"Such posture is too proud.
a man should pray with eyes closed and head bowed."

"Seems to me his hands should be
austerely clasped in front,
with both thumbs pointing toward the ground,"
said Rev. Dr. Blunt.

"Last year I fell in Hitchkin's well,
headfirst," said Cyrus Brown,
"and both my heels were stickin' up
and my head was a pointin' down.

"And I made a prayer right then and there,
the best prayer I ever said.
the prayin'est prayer I ever prayed
was standin' on my head."

I imagine that some of you have read this poem before, but seeing it today, in my readings, was a first for me.  I loved it, as it reminds me of how often people get caught-up in these types of questions:

Am I praying enough?

Am I praying the right way?

Am I praying at the right time?

Am I saying the right words?

Am I being heard by God?

I think the answers are found between you and God…

Is God nudging you to spend more time with him, and then you think you'll get to God later?

Are you going to God in prayer in such a way that you are speaking whole-heartedly?  Or are you holding back part of yourself or allowing too many interruptions to occur?

God is ever-present, so there’s no time like the present to pray!

Are you being your authentic self when you speak to God?  Or are you caught up in elaborate words that are meaningless to you AND to God?  Are you giving God lip service or giving your unique heart?

God is ever-present, so God is always listening.  God is Love, so God longs to hear from God's beloved children. 

If you want to have a prayer practice that works for you, then practice in your prayer.  If one way doesn’t come sincerely from your heart, then try another way.  John Chapman, OSB, advised people to “Pray as you can, not as you cannot.”  God made you a unique and beloved person.  Go to God with that in mind, knowing you are irreplaceable and loved by God.  Start slowly, if you must, but do start.  Be your authentic self in all you do, including in your prayer.  This means, get to know God and get to know the person that God wants you to be! 

💙

Heart of a Pilgrim - Part II

       Buona Sera, or good afternoon/evening, as they say in Italy at this time of day.  I think the jet lag is beginning to give way to days of my usual energy and ability to stay awake past 9:00 at night! One good practice that came out of going to Italy - besides searching for and finding real Italian gelato at the local Harris Teeter grocery - is to walk every day again.  I had stopped running after chemo and walking had ceased being a pleasure any more.  But once you go to Tuscany and Umbria, you learn to walk cobblestone streets - that literally go up both ways - and I can feel that I am stronger than before we left the United States.  So walking has become part of my (almost) daily routine again.  

Sometimes I picture myself walking the holy ground that we hearty pilgrims walked during the trip, instead of the rolling hills where I live. I picture again standing for Mass in the Basilica of St. Francis, just feet away from his tomb.  We walked parts of the small monastery (built in 1224) on an island, off the City of Venice, where Francis spent 40 days in prayer after making a pilgrimage himself to the Holy Land.  I walked up and down the simple, narrow stairs that St. Clare and her order of nuns, the Poor Clares, walked every day of their cloistered lives and looked out the windows at the peaceful views that had to bring them closer to God.  We walked through the streets of Assisi to the Basilica of St. Clare where she is buried and where the Cross of San Damiano hangs.  I still have to pinch myself to be sure I was really there!  Sometimes I feel like getting on a plane to go back and see it all again, on my own, without a tour guide and without restrictions of time that great tours and well-laid plans require.  I'm glad to be home, but I want to go back.

I promised myself that I would journal every day on this trip.  I journaled just twice.  And then I only had enough energy to write where we'd gone and what we'd seen.  I never did write about what all of these sights and experiences meant to me, to my faith, and to my life.  It was a beautifully tiring whirlwind of awe-inspiring art, deeply spiritual places, and examples of profound love of the Trinity.  

I also promised myself to come home with a new attitude of even deeper gratitude for all my many blessings.  The most important being my gift of faith, and being able to get to know the saintly men and women of faith that devoted their lives to Christ and His teachings. They have set such keen examples!  And I want my life to be changed as theirs were changed: Toward a relationship with God that becomes palpable to me, that changes not only my actions but also my heart and my thoughts and my words.  As I write this, I see that this trip to Italy has done far more than show me some of the most beautiful sights I ever could hope to see.  Assisi, in particular, will live in my heart forever.  May it be so!  💙

The Heart of a Pilgrim - Part I

       I recently returned from a 12-day pilgrimage to Italy.  The time away focused on the life and spirituality of St. Francis of Assisi.  It feels like I've just begun processing what I saw and felt and experienced during that time.  I have much to unpack, even now, after my luggage is put away and my laundry is done.  

My trip to Italy was my first time out of the United States.  I was with 30+ other pilgrims, and so I was in a kind of insular bubble of translator, brilliant tour guides, and meals prepared by some of the finest restaurants.  But when I stepped out on my own, I found the Italian people to be kind, gracious, and more than willing to speak English when all I could say was “Buongiorgno, Scusami, Grazie, and Prego” in what was a decidedly American accent, I’m sure.

Our group traveled first to Assisi, home to St. Francis and St. Clare.  We then went to Siena, home to St. Catherine, to Florence, and then ended in Venice.  Throughout the time, we were greeted with beautifully sunny (and really warm) late summer days and nights, and it wasn’t until we were in Venice that we saw early morning cloudiness – which gave way in no time to glorious skies.  There was a palpable presence of God everywhere we went.  Every corner, every view, every window provided an amazing picture-postcard sight!  I can’t begin to describe what I saw and how I had to keep reminding myself that I was really walking the streets where Francis and Clare walked as youngsters, and that I was viewing the room where Catherine of Siena spent countless hours in prayer. And these type of experiences went on and on.  Like I wrote, I am just beginning to unpack this experience… How do I come down from The Mountaintop and go back to my regular life?

I think the answer is that I don’t.

It’s not because I stayed in fine hotels, drank wine at most every meal, and enjoyed days of gastronomical delicacies – it’s because I was hungering for more, before I left that makes it impossible to return to my regular life.  Because now I feel satiated.

The hunger I felt before I left home was for a deeper life with Christ, but I hadn’t been able to identify what it was exactly, until I recognized it on our trip.  I think I had become a little too complacent in my prayer life, on some days.  I think I walked around with my own self-assurance of God’s Love, but I wasn’t spending the time with God that I need and want in order to maintain that relationship.  How can I keep my love for God fresh and new when I don’t spend time with Jesus, or when I don’t listen for the Holy Spirit?

I will be starting The Spiritual Exercises again in two weeks.  This retreat in daily life changed my life forever, when I completed it two years ago, and it helped me with consolations to continue on the path that I walk today.  This time though I will be experiencing the Exercises in a group setting, rather than one-on-one with my spiritual director.  It will be a whole new way to learn Christ and to follow Him, and I hope it will create community for me as well.

I loved experiencing my pilgrimage to Italy in a community of strong Christians and with our two accompanying Franciscan friars.  We are not meant to be completely alone in our journeys – not necessarily – and not in the beginning.  It is good to have the fellowship of others, as we grow in our love of God and in our life of prayer.

I leave you today with this prayer that was recorded in one of the earliest documents about St. Francis, in the 1200s.  He spoke it before the cross of San Damiano in Assisi…

Most high and glorious God,

enlighten the darkness of my heart

and give me

truer faith,

more certain hope,

and perfect charity,

sense and knowledge of you,

so that I may carry out

your holy and true command

for my life.

From this Prayerful Heart to yours,

Pace e Bene – Peace and all Good!
💙

Midweek Meditation - The Heart of a Reluctantly Famous Man

       Recently I was listening to a discussion about St. Francis of Assisi, and it was brought up how many non-religious people today are seeing him as a great man to follow.  They appreciate that Francis loved nature and animals and has come to be known as a sort of ecologist in our present age.  It was also discussed though that for many he has become merely the saint of the birdbath. But he was a man that was so much more!  And he was the man he became, because of the Son of Man whose life he wanted to follow and to emulate totally.

A few months ago I read a book about St. Francis entitled Reluctant Saint, and a friend recently sent me this link to a 55-minute film based on that densely packed book of his life. When watching it I was struck five minutes into it, how much God wanted Francis's conversion. It was through illness and vulnerability that God took the opportunity to reach into his heart saying in essence, "There is so much more that you can do with your life. You can do something for Me."  Watching that part of the film gave rise to the similar way that God brought about a conversion of heart for me and changed my life too.

So I ask you today to think back over your life - as short or as long as it may be.  Can you see a time when you felt that you were called to something more in life?  Can you remember if you felt a pull toward a sense of calm and peace that would take you away from this world - and maybe even set you apart?  Did you pay attention to that pull?  Did you listen a little, or a lot, to find out what or who was calling out to you?  Or did you brush it away to either come back to it later or to just ignore entirely?  What would happen, if the next time you felt a nudge toward quiet, you then actually stopped to sit within it?  Are you afraid of what you will hear? Does silence frighten you? Are the temptations to keep you going at a hectic pace or doing mind-numbing activities too great?  

If any of this sounds familiar - consider choosing a time and place where you can be comfortably still and silent, slowing your breath, and quieting your mind.  Then ask for that pull toward peace, that longing for something more profound to come back to you. I can say with almost certainty that it will, if you're patient and persistent in your attempts.  Who or what do you think will be in that silence?  Who does your heart tell you is the One calling to you? 

As Donald Spoto, the author of the book, says in the film, "Conversion is the work of a lifetime..." Allow God to love you and have access to your heart and mind so you will find the way to live in peace with yourself, with others, and with your Creator. With peace will come "more"!

So for today, even though we can't all be canonized saints, we are called to try to be one!   Take time to quiet yourself and listen.  Who knows, today may be the day that your heart is lovingly changed forever. 

Blessings of peace for you today and every day.

💙

From the Heart of a Child of God

“Grateful Child”

Gracious Heavenly Father, Warm and Nurturing Mother,

How hard it is to call you Father or Mother at times,

because of the sorrowful ways

that I was sometimes treated

by my own earthly parents.

But regardless, Your many Names remain holy

And extraordinary to me, because

You created all that is good… yes,

You that is Goodness Itself.

You created me, for reasons You alone

know, within my particular family.

I thank you, Abba God,

for the lessons I learned and the

graces I received through them.

Mother God, I am grateful for countless things;

thank you for my daily bread,

for the very air I breathe,

and for all that I take for granted that was

given by your Holy Hand.

Forgive me, Holy Parent, for the times

that I forget your continuous Presence

within and around me.

It is You in Whom I live and move and have my being.

Help me to forgive others, and remind me

that they also live in

Your Light and in Your Love.

For all glory, all honor, and all love

are Yours – in the Now and in the splendid Not-Yet.

I pray in the Name of your Son, who is

my Savior… and the whole world’s.

 Amen.

I wrote this prayer several months ago for people who have a hard time thinking of God as only a man or as only a woman.  I wrote it also for the faithful who have trouble calling God their Father, because of their wounded childhoods.  And it was written for those who cannot think of God as their Mother, because of their wounded childhoods.

Whatever name or pronoun you need to use in order to grow in our relationship with God, I encourage you to use it.  God knows our brokenness and understands when we have trouble speaking to the Holy Presence.  God wants to help preserve our hope when life is hard and to grace us with strength through our worst anxieties.  

May God's Peace be with you.  💙